Christmas has always been important to me. It’s just as exciting every year – no matter how old I get, I have the same old longing and joyous expectations. However, it’s also a time of year many associate with stress. Many worry about the expectations and must-dos and must-haves. I felt like this at times too, but when my daughter was born I decided to rethink how I prepared for Christmas. Below I will share some of my thoughts on what I feel is the most magical time of the year.
Before I had children Christmas just had to be in a certain way – the decorations had to be just so, shopping for loads of presents was a must, everybody had to receive lovely and personal gifts. Everything had to be beautifully wrapped; I had to bake every Christmas cookie that existed. To be honest, although I loved it, it was also stressful and somewhat anxiety inducing. I wanted to do so much that I exhausted myself. I remember a Christmas Eve where I broke down and cried because after weeks of planning and fixing everything, some little something went wrong, and I had no energy left to deal with it. It had all just become too much. All the things I love about Christmas were somehow lost in this mission to have the perfect celebration.
So when my daughter was born I thought a lot about what I wanted her to remember from her childhood Christmases. A hysterical, stressed-out mother who cried on Christmas Eve in a perfectly decorated home? Or a happy and relaxed mom in a kitchen decorated with a couple of traditional candlesticks and a star, smelling of fresh saffron buns? All the Christmas cookies perfectly laid out and mom at the end of her patience? Or a mother who buys ready-made gingerbread dough but has time to sing and make crafty decorations with her kids? Reading this, it’s crystal clear to me what the choice will be.
In a sea of possibilities, it’s important to sift through and prioritize what really is important. Last year I decided to send Christmas cards, to listen to loads of Christmas music and to settle on using the same decorations every year. We don’t need new decorations every year no matter how tempting it looks. It’s a nice and comforting tradition to have the same decorations year after year. I also see it as a chance to teach my children the value of what we have.
The kids get to write a wish list for Santa every year, complete with his North Pole address. All together we ceremoniously walk to the special Christmas post box in the center and mail our lists. We do Christmas crafts and decorate the house. We happen to live next to Sweden’s most famous gingerbread factory, so there is no cookie shortage (even in the summer!).
One of my best tips, which really makes life calm, is to buy presents early. I complete the Christmas shopping in November. Like many, I work a lot around Christmas, and this way I don’t have to elbow my way through the crowds and fight with the rest of Sweden’s population, all too hot and impatient in thick winter clothes, nearly fainting with stress. And it’s no secret what the kids want (they seem to repeat their wishes at least daily from September). So get the shopping done early and you have more time to enjoy that mulled wine!
I think it’s time to overhaul the most stressful holiday of the year and instead make it about spending time together with friends and family. Instead of one person (mommy) doing it all, let’s share the tasks. It doesn’t have to be picture perfect as long as we celebrate together and your heart is in it. If nothing else it’s also cheaper. For me it has meant so much to change focus. Christmas is no longer an anxiety-ridden affair, but a cozy time without too many musts.
To all of you from all of us, A Very Merry Christmas! GOD JUL!
Nathalie is a mother of two and lives in Sweden. In her spare time she loves to crochet.
